you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
