I wish I could punch you in the face.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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