I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
