think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
