If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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