he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
God I need to hump something, right now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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