his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
my liver is dry heaving
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
