It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
