Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You may now shotgun with the bride
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
