I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
