we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
