You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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