could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
