Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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