talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
