wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
