that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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