I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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