That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
