2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think i have herpe
just one?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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