Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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