Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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