You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
