My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
