I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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