I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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