What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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