The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No subtext here. People are naked.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
