its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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