can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
