i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she smelled like a LAN party
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
