walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
