you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
