dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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