He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
