This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
