I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
