hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
