i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
