Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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