Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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