We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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