make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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