I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
another moral hangover. fuck.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
