Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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