I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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