the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
