he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
