Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
