There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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