3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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