what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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