i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
